A Single Second - A.F.I.

Oh my God! My God this can't be happening! 
God tell me, tell me this isn't real! 
I can't believe all that I have
foreseen is finally happening. 
I cannot for a single second stand the way I feel.
I always knew. I always saw it coming.
Enveloped now, encased by my worst fear.
I've never felt the nausea of longing to feel nothing, 
I never wanted to cease to
exist, just disappear. Fear memories are all that lie ahead. 
Never have I felt so lost. Memories dull my senses.
Fear tragedy is all that lies ahead. 
Never have I felt so dead. 
Once felt so warm, no I'm fucking freezing. 
I am the once embraced abandoned one. 
I raised my eyes up to the light in hopes of finding healing; 
no relief was mine, I was burnt, by the sun.