Army - Ben Folds Five

Well I thought about the army, 
Dad said, son you're fuckin high. 
And I thought, yeah there's a first for everything, 
so I took my old man's advice. 
Three sad semesters, 
it was only fifteen grand. 
Spent in bed I thought about the army,
I dropped out and joined a band instead.

Grew a moustache and a mullet, 
Got a job at chic-fil-a. 
Citing artistic differences the band broke up in May,
and in June reformed without me, and they got a different name. 
I nuked another grandma's apple pie 
and hung my head in shame. 

Been thinking a lot today. 
Been thinking a lot today.

Ohhhh, I think I'll write a screenplay. 
Ohhhh, I think I'll take it to LA. 
Ohhhh, I think I'll get it done yesterday (aww shit).

In this time of introspection.
On the eve of my election, 
I say to my reflection 
God, please spare me more rejection. 
Cause my peers they criticize me, 
and my ex-wives all despise me.
Try to put it all behind me, 
but my redneck past is nipping at my heels 

I've been thinking a lot today.
I've been thinking a lot today.
I've been thinking a lot today.
I thought about the army...