Caught Up (with Hitman Howie Tee) [Remix]

Well I'm nimble, and I'm nice like Kris Kringle

But yo I got caught, taught, got swindled

Me and a couple of boys in Kings Plaza

Walkin through the mall to see if they had a

Couple of shirts, a few pants

Just out of the blue, went took a glance

In front of Macy's I seen two girlie girlies

One looked def, the other looked like Mr. Furley

With my ego trip, my Wilson flip

I used my lip to get both on the sneak tip

Then I sicked it, kicked it to the ugly one

Souped her up, I call her Lipton and honeybun

Things like that, gibberish and crap

She's a skeezer, there's no need for chitter chat

Her body looks all kind of good, yeah but

As for her face, Jabba the Hutt

I shoulda played Michael Jackson, told her to beat it

I said, what the heck, I got a condom, freak it

Her nickname now is Mona the Rover

She looks like a dog, so I dogged it on the sofa

For some dumb reason though, it was fun

Now she's lookin good to me, I'm caught up, part one

I'm in love with an ugly girl, but hey

I'm gonna kick it to the pretty one today

She seems nice, and she's a fly cutie

Called her up, I said, "Hi, my name is Chubbs"

Her name was Judy

I don't have to tell you guys the rest

But I asked her to go out, she said yes

Took her to the movies and then to my house

Led the girl straight to the couch

Like a game, I have to score

Dim the lights, get the two-ply condom from the drawer

Took off her shirt, and only then I asked the question

"Yo, who broke wind? Something smells bad"

Dag, it won't let up

It was Judy, the cutie, yo word up

So now I got an ugly girl and one with a smell

But which one should I choose? Oh well, I'm caught up

I know I'm hard, cause I'm Chubb Rock

But deep into my chest I got a soft spot

That could easily be ripped apart

I'm hard like the tin man, but I got a heart

Every night, it seems I stay home sick

Tryin to figure out which girl will I pick

Ripping my heart, damaging my soul

All these problems because of a little hole

And recreation in a bed

But Mona and Judy are getting me fed up

To the point I couldn't even hold my own

I was like E.T., I had to phone home

To ask my moms a question she always knows

She says, "Chubby, follow your heart and your nose

Be celibate, no girl, be a loner"

But I picked the ugly girl, yeah, I picked Mona