Uncle Whitey, Uncle Whitey
Could you tell us a bedtime story?
That's that, we wanna hear a bedtime story
Please, could you tell some bedtime stories, please?
And bring me some of my Cheesy Poofs right now
Once upon a time not long ago
When people wore pajamas and lived life slow
When laws were stern and justice stood
And people were behavin' like they are to, good
There was a little boy who was misled
By another little boy, and this is what he said
"Me and you, guy, we gonna make some cash
Robbin' old folks and makin' the dash"
They did the job, money came with ease
But one couldn't stop, it's like he had a disease
He robbed another and another
A sister and her brother (stick 'em up! Stick 'em up!)
Tryin' to rob a man who was a DT undercover
The cop grabbed his arm, he started acting erratic
He said, "Keep still, boy, no need for static"
Punched him in his belly and gave him a slap
But little did he know the little boy was strapped
He pulled out his gun and said, "Why'd you hit me?"
The barrel headed straight for the cop's kidney
The cop get scared, the kid, he starts to figure
"I'll do years if I pull this trigger"
So he cold dashed and ran around the block
Cop radios in to another lady cop
He ran by a tree, there he saw this sister
A shot for the head, shot back, but he missed her
Looked 'round good in expectations
He decided he'd head for the subway station, but
She was comin' so he made a left
He was runnin' top speed 'til he was outta breath
Knocked an old man down, he swore he killed him (sorry)
Then made his move to an abandoned building
Ran upstairs up to the top floor
Opened up the door there, guess who he saw
Dave the dope fiend shootin' dope
Who don't know the meaning of water nor soap, he said
"I need bullets, hurry up, run"
The dope fiend brought back a spankin' shotgun
He went outside, but there was cops all over
So he dipped into a car, it was a stolen Nova
Raced up the block doin' 83
Crashed into a tree near university
Escaped alive, though the car was shattered
Rat-a-tat-tatted and all the cops scattered
Ran out of bullets but he still had static
Grabbed a pregnant lady, pulled out the automatic
He pointed at her head and said, "The gun was full of lead"
Told the cops, "Back off, or honey here's dead"
Deep in his heart, he knew he was wrong
So he let the lady go and he starts to move on
Sirens sounded, he seemed astounded
Before long, the little boy got surrounded
He dropped his gun, so went the glory
And this is the way I gotta end this story
He was only 19, in a madman's dream
I saw the cops shoot the kid, I still hear him scream
This ain't funny, so don't you dare laugh
Just another case about the wrong path
Straight and narrow or your soul gets cashed
Good night
Knock 'em off the box
Knock 'em off the-
Knock 'em off the box
Knock 'em
Knock 'em off the box
Knock 'em off the box
Knock 'em off the box
Knock 'em off the box
Knock 'em off the-
Goddamn