Medical forms asked me for my sex
And I said "Take me out to dinner first"
Celibate for months, my clinic isn't taking visitors
She said I'm a 9.5, like what got into her?
Better round your answer to the nearest integer
Tried to lock in, but my whole feed is memes
I'm not Walter White, but I think I just cooked my dopamine
Money for president, can't do red or blue, there's no between
Ain't no Jill Stein, my companion, I just voted Green
I'm the type of guy to tell the barber I don't like the cut
Farted then I called it intuition, it was in my gut
I'll pull my own plug when I'm too old, I'll tell you what
Ugh, because I want no one else to wipe my butt
I just called my ex again, someone take my frickin' phone
Didn't take a shower today, I'm rocking pheromones
Bro, it's just deodorant, stop asking about my cologne
I don't wanna answer all these questions, I'm not Google Chrome
I used to sink in the piss, now I piss in the sink
Tryna be fully myself, now I'm right on the brink
People mad I cut them off, well, frick what they think
They thought I was human evolution how I'm missing links
Listen to my gospel, every lyric is TikTokable
With alcohol and time, every singe place is rockable
IRS just called, said those payments ain't phenomenal
Thinkin' bout that number, cuz' it's looking really blockable
Beat so hard I wanna smash my producer
Moved up a tax bracket, now I can buy kombucha
I don't want a job, so I'mma trade potato futures
Way too open 'bout my life, they recommended sutures
Man, I'm on a heater, manifesting lamborgeeters
My version of classy is black slacks and a beater
Found a lovely woman, bro I think she broke the meter, but
She loves all 3 of my personalities, she's a cheater