Miracle

My mummy says I'm a miracle

My daddy says I'm his special little guy

I am a princess, I am a prince

Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky

My daddy says I'm his special little soldier

No one is as bold or tough as me

Has my daddy told you? One day when I'm older

I can be a soldier and punch you in the face

Take another picture of our pumpkin from this angle over here

I know we oughtn't say this, but she's clearly cuter than her peers

What a dear! Yoo-hoo, honey, look at mummy

Try not to vomit on your brother

Now smile for mummy, smile for mother

I think she blinked, well, take another

Have you seen what he can do?

Is that unusual for day two?

Is smilin' early, not a sign of an exceptional IQ

She's just delightful, so intuitive, so insightful

Might he be a little brighter than the norm?

I know to say it's frightful form

(Take another picture)

My mummy says I'm a miracle

One look at my face, and it's plain to see

Ever since the day doctor chopped the umbilical cord

It's been clear, there's no peer for a miracle like me

My mummy says I'm a miracle

That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball

You can be all cynical, but it's a truth empirical

There's never been a miracle, as factually, spectacularly

Actually, miraculously

Fabulous, a miracle as me

A baby?

I'm not having a baby, what on Earth gives you that idea?

I'm not listenin' to this, this is quackery

But, you're about to give birth

Are you out of your mind?

Mrs. Wormwood, you're having a contraction

I'm not having contractions!

Contractions are for pregnant woman, who are having babies

I'm having a little stinkin' baby!

Every life, I bring into this world

Restores my faith in humankind (I'm not worried)

Each newborn life, a canvas yet unpainted

Their still unbroken skin, their uncorrupted minds

Every little life is unbelievably unlikely

Their chances of existence, almost infinitely small

The most common thing in life is life

And yet, every single life

Every new life is a miracle (miracle)

What? A girl

What? You mean my son is a girl?

I mean that your daughter is a girl

Yeah, but the balloons, doctor, I mean, the balloons, they say a boy

Mr. Wormwood, your wife has just given birth

To a beautiful, healthy, happy little girl

She's perfect

This is fantastic news

Why do bad things always happen to good people?

Fine upstanding citizens, like you and me

Why, when we've done nothing wrong

Should this disaster come along?

This horrible (miracle)

Weird looking (miracle)

Hairy, little stinky thing

With no sign of a winky-ding at all

Every life is a miracle

Every life is a miracle

Every life is a miracle

My mummy says I'm a miracle

One look at my face, and it's plain to see

Ever since the day doctor chopped the umbilical cord

It's been clear, there's no peer, for a miracle like me

My mummy says I'm a miracle

That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball

You can be all cynical, but it's a truth empirical

There's never been a miracle, a miracle as, a miracle as

My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm

My daddy says I'm a bore

My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ

That kids like me should be against the law

My daddy says I should learn to shut my pie hole

No one likes a smart-mouthed girl like me

Mum says I'm a good case for population control

Dad says I should watch more TV