Ther Ain't Half Been Some Clever Bastards

Noel Coward was a charmer

As a writer he was Brahma

Velvet, jackets and pajamas

The gay divorcee and other dramas

There ain't half been some clever bastards

(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)

There ain't half been some clever bas-tards

Van Gogh did some eyeball pleasers

He must have been a pencil squeezer

He didn't do the Mona Lisa

That was an Italian geezer

There ain't half been some clever bastards

(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)

There ain't half been some clever bas-tards

Einstein can't be classed as witless

He claimed atoms were the littlest

When you did a bit of splitting-em-ness

Frighten everybody shitless

There ain't half been some clever bastards

Probably got help from their mum

(Who had help from her mum)

There ain't half been some clever bastards

Now that we've had some

Let's hope that there's lots more to come

There ain't half been some clever bastards

(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)

There ain't half been some clever bas-tards

Okey-dokey

Oh, Segovia

Da-laa la-laa da-daa da-lee

De dump di dump de dump-dump-diddle li-lee

There ain't half been some clever bastards

(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)

There ain't half been some clever bastards

(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)

There ain't half been some clever bastards

(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)

There ain't half been some clever bastards