When Velma Takes the Stand

Billy, I been thinkin' a lot about my trial

Could I show you what I thought I might do on the witness stand?

Oh, sure, sure. Go ahead

Good. Hit it!

Well, when I got on the stand

I thought I'd take a peek at the jury

And then cross my legs like this, you know

When Velma takes the stand

Then, when Harrison cross examines me

I thought I'd give 'im this

And then if he yells at me

I thought I'd tremble like this

"Ooh, ah, ooh ah!"

When Velma takes the stand

Look at little Vel

See her give 'em hell

Ain't she doin' grand?

She's got 'em eatin' out of the palm of her hand!

Then, I thought I'd let it all be too much for me

You know, like real dramatic

Then, I thought I'd get real thirsty and say

"Oh please, someone, could I have a glass of water?"

When Velma takes the stand

See that Kelly girl

Make that jury whirl

When she turns it on

She's gonna get 'em goin'

Until she's got 'em gone

Then, I thought I'd cry

Buckets

Only I don't have a handkerchief -

That's when I have to ask you for yours!

I really like that, don't you?

Oh, good!

Then, I thought I'd try to get up and walk -

Only I'm too weak, so I slump and I slump

And I slump and I slump and finally, I faint!

When she rolls her eyes

Watch her take the prize