He told it to the monkeys, and they didn't talk back
Then he told the old iguana, and he didn't attack
They told me before I started
That it never ever would work out
Stay in school, don't be a fool
But I had to see what life was about
So I went to Biloxi, seeking fortune and fame
I got hired, I got fired, I got called dirty names
You'll never (never), never (never), work in dis bidness again
You'll never (never), no, never (never)
Never work in dis bidness again
I knew I needed representation
And I found it one night in a bar
He was a bondsman and a part-time agent
And he said that he would make me a star
He said, "Aaaah, you don't have to be that good"
"To make it out in Hollywood"
"You just have to change, and complain"
Or you'll never (never), never (never), work in dis bidness again
You'll never (never), no, never (never)
Never work in dis bidness again
I parked cars at the Rainbow
I sold maps of the stars
I got my nose broke in Spago's
When I puked on the bar
And all I played's a double barmitzvah
(Bubba played a double barmitzvah!)
It's a jungle out there (we love it)
Hell, I don't care
I'm going back to my predator friends
I will never (never), never (never), work in dis bidness again
No, I'll never (never), no, never (never)
Never work in dis bidness again
You'll never (never), never (never), work in dis bidness again
"Ah, relax, vhere do you tink you're going vit dat suitcase?"
"I'm outta here!"
"You're leaving?! Vat about my fifteen percent?"
"Fifteen percent of nothin' is nothin'!"
"Young man, you leave now and you'll never..."
"I'll never..."
"You'll never..."
"Work in dis..."
"Bizness..."
"Bidness..."
"AGAIN!"