Yeah
How the fuck I want attention and isolation at the same time?
Brain built like a haunted arcade machine, yeah, yeah
I like people, but I hate people
Crave conversation, don't talk to me though
Wanna be the center of attention
But don't put my name in your mentions
Wanna go out, wanna stay home
Need everybody gone, hate bein' alone
One day I'm the life of the party
Next day I ghost like, "Please don't call me"
Got a social battery held together by tape
Half my friends think I'm distant, half think I'm great
Mind move fast but my mouth lag behind
Got a million damn thoughts in a traffic-jam line
Too weird for the cool kids
Too loud for the quiet rooms
Too quiet when I should speak
Now I'm spiralin' in my bedroom
My brain's a group chat that never shuts up
Everybody talkin' at once, good luck
One side says, "Go outside"
Other side says, "Hide, don't reply"
I'm exhausted from the noise I make
Smile real big while my nerves all shake
I want love but I push away
Then wonder why everybody fades
Yeah, I overthink every text I send
Read it back like thirty times again
Add a joke, erase it, type "LOL"
Then throw my phone across the room, fuck it all
Everybody say, "Just be yourself"
Like that's easy when you're split in twelve
One part savage, one part shy
One part fuck it, one part terrified
I can walk in a room, take over the vibe
Then disappear for like six damn nights
Not depressed, not okay either
Just mentally buffering like bad Wi-Fi speakers
I don't need fake sympathy speeches
Don't need strangers actin' like they know me deepest
Sometimes I'm chaos, sometimes I'm numb
Sometimes I wanna fight the whole world for fun
I like people, but I hate people
Need connection, still keeping my distance though
Wanna be seen, but don't stare too long
Wanna fit in while feelin' like I don't belong
My brain's a jukebox stuck on repeat
Sad song, hype song, anxiety beat
If you get it then you probably live it too
Welcome to the club nobody asked to join