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[00:04.31]If I could rewind time like a tape
[00:06.77]Inside a boombox, one day for every pill or Percocet that I ate
[00:11.98]Cut down on the Valium, I'da heard everything
[00:15.89]But death is turning, so definite, wait!
[00:18.71]They got me all hooked up to some machine
[00:21.50]I love you, Bean, didn't want you to know I was struggling
[00:24.64]Feels like I'm underwater submerged like a submarine
[00:27.77]Just heard that nurse say, my liver and kidneys aren't functioning
[00:31.22]Been flirtatious with death, skirt-chasing, I guess
[00:34.03]It's arrivederci, same nurse, just heard say they're unplugging me
[00:37.40]And it's your birthday, Jade, I'm missing your birthday
[00:40.90]Baby girl, I'm sorry, I fucking hate when you hurt, Hai
[00:44.31]And sweeties, thank you for waiting to open gifts
[00:47.23]But, girls, you can just open 'em
[00:48.85]Dad ain't making it home for Christmas
[00:50.86]Wish I had the strength to just blow a kiss
[00:53.46]I go to make a fist, but I can't make one, I'm frozen stiff
[00:56.78]I yell, but nothing comes out, I'm crying inside, I shout
[00:59.86]My vocal cords won't permit me, I scream, but it's not aloud
[01:03.36]You put your arm around Mama to calm her, wow
[01:06.71]I just thought about the aisle I'll never get to walk us down
[01:10.06]Never see you graduate in your caps and gowns
[01:13.00]It's 'bout to be 2008, how's this happening now?
[01:16.24]I got so much more to do
[01:18.00]And, Proof, I'm truly sorry if I let you down, but this tore me in two
[01:22.67]The thought of no more me and you
[01:25.08]You gave me shoes, Nikes like new for me for school
[01:28.99]Doody, I'm trying, but you, you were the glue that binded
[01:32.36]So many things, time, I'd give anything to rewind it
[01:35.55]I had to walk down my halls and constantly be reminded
[01:38.62]By pictures, all on my walls and I couldn't sleep at night 'cause
[01:42.10]That image burned in my brain of you on that table
[01:44.64]Me falling across your body, not able to stand to save you
[01:47.97]God, why did you take him?
[01:50.17]I'm tryna keep his legacy alive, but I'm dying, where's Nathan?
[01:53.97]Little ladies, be brave, take care of your mother
[01:57.03]Smile pretty for pictures, always cherish each other
[02:00.31]I'll always love ya, and I'll be in the back of your memory
[02:03.58]And I know you'll never forget me
[02:04.98]Just don't get sad when remembering
[02:06.68]And, little bro, keep making me proud
[02:09.48]You better marry that girl 'cause she's faithfully down
[02:12.72]And when you're exchanging those sacred vows
[02:15.05]Just know that if I could be there, I would
[02:17.18]And should you ever see parenthood, I know you'll be good at it
[02:20.26]Oh, almost forgot to do something, thank my father too
[02:23.45]I actually learned a lot from you
[02:25.41]You taught me what not to do
[02:27.51]And, Mom, wish I'd have had the chance
[02:29.83]To have one last heart-to-heart honest and open talk with you
[02:32.97]Doody, I see you, I go to walk to you
[02:36.09]And I can feel my soul leave my body and float across the room
[02:39.51]Nurses lean over the bed, pulling tubes out
[02:42.33]Then the sheet over my head, shut the room down
[02:45.83]Girls, please don't get upset, I see them cheeks soaking and wet
[02:49.30]As you squeeze hold of my neck, so forcibly, don't wanna let
[02:52.36]Me go, pillow drenched, emotional wrecks
[02:55.44]With every second, each closer to death
[02:58.23]But suddenly I feel my heart begin to beat slow then a breath, machines go
[03:03.55]Must've guessed the cheat codes to this shit
[03:06.03]I'm trying to rewind time like a tape
[03:08.76]Find an escape, make a beeline, try and awake
[03:11.97]From this dream, I need to re-find my inner strength
[03:15.30]To remind me, even if a steep climb I must take
[03:18.38]To rewrite a mistake, I'm rewinding the tape
[03:25.00](I don't want it!)
[03:26.02]I'll put out this last album, then I'm done with it
[03:28.35]One hundred percent finished, fed up with it
[03:30.40]I'm hanging it up, fuck it!
[03:31.72]Excuse the cursing, baby, but just know
[03:34.25]That I'm a good person, though they portray me as cold
[03:37.00]And if things should worsen, but I bet you they won't
[03:39.88]I'm pledging to throw this methadone in the toilet
[03:42.11]Shred these old letters I wrote
[03:43.81]All that old pathetic loathing, closing credits can roll
[03:46.45]I'm proud to be back
[03:48.33]I'm 'bout to, like a rematch, outdo Relapse
[03:51.33]With Recovery, Mathers LP2
[03:54.00]Help propel me to victory laps
[03:56.37]Gas toward 'em and fast forward the past
[03:58.60]Consider the last four minutes as
[04:00.92]The song I'da sang to my daughters
[04:02.43]If I'da made it to the hospital less than 2 hours later, but I fought it
[04:05.91]And came back like a boomerang on 'em
[04:08.07]Now a new day is dawnin'
[04:09.11]I'm up, Tuesday, it's mornin', now I know