Billy The Mountain - Frank Zappa & the Mothers

BILLY the Mountain
BILLY the Mountain
A regular picturesque
Postcardy mountain
Residing between lovely
Rosamond and Gorman
With his stunning wife ETHELL,
A tree!
A tree! 

BILLY was a mountain
ETHELL was a tree
Growing off of his shoulder 

BILLY was a mountain
ETHELL was a tree
Growing off of his shoulder 

Billy had two big
Caves for eyes,
With a cliff for a jaw
That would go up 'n down,
And whenever it did,
He'd puff out some dust,
And hack up a boulder
(HACK!)
Hack up a boulder
(HACK! HACK!)
Hack up a boulder
(HACK! HACK! HACK!)
Hack up a boulder 

Now, one day, a man in a checkered suit drove up in a big Lincoln Continental, and he laid a HUGE, BULGING ENVELOPE right at the corner of BILLY THE MOUNTAIN, right where his 'foot' was supposed to be. 

Now, BILLY THE MOUNTAIN, he couldn't believe it! All those postcards he'd posed for, for OVER THESE YEARS, and finally, now, AT LAST, his Royalties! 

Royalties!
Royalties . . . 
Royalties!
Royalties . . . 
Royalties! 

BILLY THE MOUNTAIN was RICH! His eyeball-caves widened in amazement, his cliff (which was his jaw), it dropped thirty feet! 

Ooh, a bunch of dust puffed out! Rocks and boulders hacked up, (hack! hack! hack! hack hack! hack! hack!) crushing 'The LINCOLN'! 

Now, the man in the checkered suit, well, without his car he went screaming off into the desert at sunset (AAAA-AAA-AAAAH!) all the way to Rosamond to get a beer and tell everybody there including Ronnie Cook what had happened to his car. 

I gave him the money
He acted real funny
He hocked up a rock and
It TOTALLED my car! 

Oh, do you
Know any trucks
Might be bound for THE VALLEY?
I don't wanna stand here
All night in this bar
(Dear Lord) 

I don't wanna stand here
All night in this bar
(No shit!) 

I don't wanna stand here
All