Do you take this woman?
I said "Yes, I do"
I love her like crazy
I think she loves me too
But we'll do without the family
If it's all the same to you
Happy ever after
Your mother is a flake
My father's full of shite
Your sister says you married me in white
Just for spite
A party's not a party
Till it ends up in a fight
Happy ever after
CHORUS
And there's my lot and your lot
And us two in between
(Please God)
This is the last time I get married
(Please God)
This is the last time I get married
Me brother's never short
Of a substance to abuse
Rum, glue, Thunderbird
Wizz and Special Brew
Any minute now he'll show us
All of his tattoos
Happy ever after
Nephews are obnoxious
Nieces are too tall
A dozen drunken uncles
Are pissing up the wall
Granddad is grinning
But there's no one home at all
Happy ever after
CHORUS
For richer, for poorer, for better or worse
Now we are married, a blessing or a curse
Kiss me and don't forget
What you see is what you get
And the best man is the worst man
The best man is a beast
Underneath the table
With the sister of the priest
The way he's going at it
She's probably deceased
Happy ever after
Gran's on the brandy
Getting bleary-eyed
Guys I went to school with
Want to see me outside
Someone's pulled the bridesmaid
Has anyone seen the bride?
Happy ever after
CHORUS