Careless Surgeon - Adam Kay & Suman Biswas

I feel so unsure,
As I cut you up,
I wonder what's that nerve for.

What does this bit do?
I get so confused.
I'm very sorry Mr Smith,
I've got some dreadful news.

You're never gonna walk again,
I just sliced your spinal column.
Now you need a ventilator,
Just so you can breathe.

I fucked up your operation,
But try not to be too solemn,
you might not die for 6 more years
Like Christopher Reeve.

Time can never mend
A careless surgeon's fuck ups, my friend.
theres nothing we can do,
I'm buggered if you sue
I hope you get MRSE and die on ITU

Everyday's the same.
'cos I try to cure,
But I just kill and maim.

All these body parts,
Kidneys look like hearts.
O why did i do medicine i should have stuck with art

And you're never gonna speak again,
Have to just make do with thinking.
We'd be foolish to pretend
We'll ever hear you talking.

Trapped inside your wheelchair,
Communicating just by blinking.
Like that fucking spastic, professor stephen hawking