Charlie - 3 Minute Hero

charlie had a mission 
charlie had a quest 
charlie had a question that stumped the very best 
how do i get a girl close enough to me 
to make her mine perpetually? 
charlie never got an answer that he used 
but due his results he should be excused 
charlie had a mission 
charlie had a dream 
charlie had ambition like you have never seen 
charlie had one driving goal in his life 
to get a woman close enough to him to make her his wife 
he had plenty of shots at the opposite sex 
but he always uttered a pessimistic hex 
wrong time wrong place 
wrong person wrong clothes 
and to top it off you got a funny nose 
charlie hung at bookstores 
charlie hung at bars 
he could make a book for his emotional scars 
charlie thought that he had reached the end of his rope 
when a leggy blonde masqueraded by as hope 
charlie staked his life in this...his last attempt 
he strutted up beside her and grumbled "ahem!" 
[chorus] 
charlie got a girl 
charlie got a gal 
charlie was a squirrel she was his peanut pal 
they did everything together both day and night 
and despite cohabitation they rarely had a fight 
but charlie's dame was a camaro who soon became a hearse 
that's when charlie uttered the familiar curse 
[chorus]