Comfort and Joy
You little creep, you're gonna pay
I won't be shoved out of the way!
Oh no! (oh no)
Oh no! (oh no)
And I could make a solid case
For smashing in your filthy face
Kill him! (shut up)
Kill him! (shut up)
I've got a spade and a burlap sack
Kill him now!
And there's a hole in the yard out back
Kill him now!
But if I fill it she'll ask me why
Kill him now!
So, I've got one thing to do before you die!
Now! Now!
Wait!
She will see what you are
I will win back my bride
She herself will decide
To get rid of the boy!
She'll admit she was wrong
She'll return before long
She'll be singing a song
Full of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy, comfort and joy!
Comfort and joy, comfort and joy!
Comfort and joy, comfort and joy!
Kill the bat boy, kill the bat boy!
Oh, honey, I apologize
You've really opened up my eyes
No way! (yes way)
No way! (yes way)
I'm laying out your Sunday best
Now brush your teeth and get some rest
Alright? (no way)
Alright? (alright!)
Now, when they see him they'll make a fuss
Is that true?
We gotta smile like we just don't care
That's not fair!
They put their pants on the same as us
Yes, they do
So just imagine them in their underwear!
And then this time I swear
He will show them he's not
What they're terrified of
He will show them a love
They can never destroy!
If we prove that they're wrong
They'll come 'round before long
And we'll all sing a song
Full of comfort and joy!
Comfort and joy, yeah!
Comfort and joy!
Comfort and joy, comfort and joy!
Comfort and joy!
Stop the bat boy!
Settle down, people!
We want to make sure the revival goes off without a hitch
So let's go over the schedule, listen up
From nine to twelve he does the healing
Sheriff (you hush up!)
At noon he'll bless the fields and plows
Tractors too? (hush up!)
Then lunch is from one thirty-
Sheriff, what about my Gertie! (hush!)
And as it seems that time allows
Three to ten, the blessing of the cows
Yes, the blessing of the cows!
Boy, that preacher's a pro
Gives a heck of a show
Just like Siegfried and Roy
He'll bring comfort and joy!
So if nothing goes wrong
Yes, if nothing goes wrong
Lord, if nothing goes wrong
We'll have comfort and
Comfort and joy, comfort and joy
Lord, we need some comfort and joy!
Any means you'd care to employ
Won't you send us comfort and joy!
Dear God
I'm still not sure how people pray
Or what one does with one's hands
But please, my thirst grows every day
I feel it burn in my glands
Please won't you change the way I am
Or prove I'm human underneath
Or if you just don't give a damn
You could at least get rid of these!
If I can't prove them wrong
Show me where I belong
For a hunger so strong kills all comfort and joy
If you'd make me complete
I'll avoid all red meat
I'll eat nothing but soy to have comfort and joy
By next week you'll be gone
Six feet under my lawn
I'll have nobody toy with my comfort and joy
He will come out a champ
It's just like summer camp
They'll get used to the boy
He'll bring comfort and joy
God, please give us your word
Cure the plague on the herd
We don't mean to annoy but send comfort and joy
Comfort and joy, comfort and joy, yeah!
Stop the bat boy, stop the bat boy!
Comfort and joy, comfort and joy!
Dr.Parker, what are you doing here?
Don't worry, Ruthie
The Bat Boy will pay for what he's done to you (comfort and joy, comfort and joy)
We're all going to miss you very much (comfort and joy, comfort and joy)
Comfort and joy, comfort and joy!
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Ha, ah, ah, ah
Ha, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah!