Driveway Intruder - Dane Cook

This is another one too. and I know ur like me
I HATE it when somebody turns around in my driveway.
Your just sitting comfortanly watching tv. You hear a car pu-. "wha-. who is this?" hhehh. It's so dissruptive you look out, strange car, you don't know if its a government official-you start getting concerned. WHAT I don't know this car! Then they turn to leave and your like, 
YOU SON OF A BITCH! You wasted moments of my life! moments I will never get back!
Ah. someday I'm gonna run out to that car before they leave- knock on the window,make em' roll it down and go. "You ever turn around in my driveway again. I'll cut ur f****** head off!." "I'm gonna put your head on my intenna. and drive around. with your head, on my intenna."
And hopefully, I'll get a two-fer and the person will go "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR F****** MIND!" then ill pull out a switch blade and they go. " YOU REALLY ARE OUT OF YOUR F****** MIND!" . and I go "ZANGZADAN!"
(Applause)
I hope they never come back and try to turn around in that driveway again. Cuz then I'll be in the window like. DAMNITT. NOW I GOTTA CUT THIS GUYS HEAD OFF!