Egyptian Cream - Robyn Hitchcock

Egyptian cream, she loves to smear
She loves to smear it everywhere
On her face and on her hands
Till she feels like she's a man
And when the change comes and the hair grows all over her skin
She's a natural; she's part of the body she's in
In the Sahara, there she lay
On an ironing board one day
She was gone for seven months
Hadn't guessed what happened once
When they told her "You're pregnant." she threw up her hands
And thousands of fingers grew out of the sand
Egyptian cream
Egyptian cream, she loves to smear
She loves to smear it everywhere
When you're sore, too sore to dream
Try some more Egyptian cream
And when the change comes and the grass grows all over the mound
The tadpoles come slithering out of the ground
Egyptian cream