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[00:00.05]Mom, I know I let you down
[00:18.64]And though you say the days are happy
[00:22.00]Why is the power off and I'm fucked up?
[00:25.66]And, mom, I know he's not around
[00:31.71]But don't you place the blame on me
[00:35.27]As you pour yourself another drink, yeah
[00:39.63]I guess we are who we are
[00:45.88]Headlights shining in the dark night, I drive on
[00:52.71]Maybe we took this too far
[00:58.54]I went in headfirst, never thinkin' about who, what I said hurt
[01:02.12]In what verse, my mom probably got it the worst
[01:04.72]The brunt of it, but as stubborn as we are, did I take it too far?
[01:08.07]"Cleanin' Out My Closet" and all them other songs
[01:10.26]But regardless, I don't hate you 'cause, Ma
[01:12.45]You're still beautiful to me, 'cause you're my Ma
[01:15.11]Though far be it from you to be calm
[01:16.97]Our house was Vietnam, Desert Storm
[01:18.93]And both of us put together could form an atomic bomb
[01:21.39]Equivalent to chemical warfare
[01:22.93]And forever we could drag this on and on
[01:25.02]But agree to disagree, that gift for me
[01:27.97]Up under the Christmas tree don't mean shit to me
[01:29.99]You're kickin' me out? It's 15 degrees
[01:31.50]And it's Christmas Eve, "Little prick, just leave"
[01:33.31]Ma, let me grab my fucking coat
[01:35.02]Anything to have each other's goats
[01:36.52]Why we always at each other's throats?
[01:38.20]Especially when Dad, he fucked us both
[01:40.39]We're in the same fuckin' boat
[01:41.86]You'd think that'd make us close (Nope)
[01:43.56]Further away it drove us, but together, headlights shine
[01:46.34]And a car full of belongings, still got a ways to go
[01:49.01]Back to grandma's house, it's straight up the road
[01:50.87]And I was the man of the house, the oldest
[01:52.51]So my shoulders carried the weight of the load
[01:55.22]Then Nate got taken away by the state at eight years old
[01:57.74]And that's when I realized you were sick
[01:59.84]And it wasn't fixable or changeable
[02:01.81]And to this day we remain estranged, and I hate it though, but
[02:04.85]I guess we are who we are
[02:10.99]Headlights shining in the dark night, I drive on
[02:17.83]Maybe we took this too far
[02:24.66]'Cause to this day we remain estranged, and I hate it though
[02:27.65]'Cause you ain't even get to witness your grandbabies grow
[02:30.89]But I'm sorry, momma, for "Cleanin' Out My Closet"
[02:33.02]At the time I was angry, rightfully? Maybe so
[02:35.36]Never meant that far to take it though
[02:36.97]'Cause now I know it's not your fault, and I'm not makin' jokes
[02:40.65]That song I no longer play at shows
[02:42.47]And I cringe every time it's on the radio
[02:44.80]And I think of Nathan being placed in a home
[02:46.87]And all the medicine you fed us and
[02:48.43]How I just wanted you to taste your own
[02:50.10]But now the medication's takin' over
[02:53.07]And your mental state's deterioratin' slow
[02:55.05]And I'm way too old to cry, the shit is painful though
[02:57.42]But, Ma, I forgive you, so does Nathan, yo
[03:00.10]All you did, all you said, you did your best to raise us both
[03:03.35]Foster care, that cross you bear, few may be as heavy as yours
[03:06.81]But I love you, Debbie Mathers
[03:08.37]Oh, what a tangled web we have 'cause
[03:10.11]One thing I never asked was
[03:11.76]Where the fuck my deadbeat dad was
[03:13.68]Fuck it, I guess he had trouble keepin' up with every address
[03:16.79]But I'da flipped every mattress, every rock and desert cactus
[03:20.17]Owned a collection of maps
[03:21.30]And followed my kids to the edge of the atlas
[03:23.13]If someone ever moved 'em from me
[03:24.91]That you coulda bet your asses
[03:26.51]If I had to come down the chimney, dressed as Santa, kidnap 'em
[03:29.98]And although one has only met their grandma once
[03:32.70]You pulled up in our drive one night
[03:34.35]As we were leavin' to get some hamburgers
[03:36.35]Me, her and Nate, we introduced you, hugged you
[03:38.95]And as you left I had this overwhelming sadness
[03:42.05]Come over me as we pulled off to go our separate paths and
[03:45.48]I saw your headlights as I looked back
[03:47.42]And I'm mad I didn't get the chance to
[03:49.32]Thank you for being my mom and my dad
[03:51.53]So, mom, please accept this as a
[03:53.28]Tribute, I wrote this on the jet, I guess I had to
[03:55.73]Get this off my chest, I hope I get the chance to
[03:58.10]Lay it 'fore I'm dead, the stewardess said to fasten
[04:00.62]My seatbelt, I guess we're crashin'
[04:03.03]So, if I'm not dreamin', I hope you get this message that
[04:06.38]I will always love you from afar, 'cause you're my mom
[04:09.27]I guess we are who we are
[04:15.35]Headlights shining in the dark night, I drive on
[04:22.29]Maybe we took this too far
[04:26.83]I want a new life (Start over)
[04:30.07]One without a cause (Clean slate)
[04:32.76]So I'm coming home tonight (Yeah)
[04:36.06]Well, no matter what the cost
[04:39.74]And if the plane goes down
[04:42.65]Or if the crew can't wake me up
[04:45.85]Well, just know that I'm alright
[04:49.30]I was not afraid to die
[04:52.86]Oh, even if there's songs to sing
[04:56.07]Well, my children will carry me
[04:59.11]Just know that I'm alright
[05:02.48]I was not afraid to die
[05:05.55]Because I put my faith in my little girls
[05:08.91]So I'll never say goodbye cruel world
[05:12.23]Just know that I'm alright
[05:15.51]I am not afraid to die
[05:21.37]I guess we are who we are
[05:27.39]Headlights shining in the dark night, I drive on
[05:34.29]Maybe we took this too far
[05:39.59]I want a new life
[05:40.92]🎵