If I Owned A Midget - Benefit

(intro)
I picked up this midget you know he's very very well dressed
Italian suit good looking with a beautiful tall blond
Is it a- a lady midget
No the guy was a midget the blond was a lady
Oh the- I get it
Those midgets are funny hahaha Sometimes I'd like to hold a midget
I mean they're funny
They always wanna sit in the front seat- Word

(verse 1)
Life's got me mad
But if I had a midget I'd be glad
To watch him jump around on my nintendo powerpad
He'd have a big head short legs and long torso
The name that I give my pet midget is little Gordo
I'd teach him tricks like backflips and side kicks
When company came over he'd perform and get tips
While I'm eatin at night, in the kitchen he'd be able
To get the food scraps that I threw under the table
If my midget was ever mad and acted enraged
Then I'd take him to the bathroom and put him in his cage
But If he kept acting up and really made me sick
I'd hang him upside down and poke him with a stick
Little Gordo would be good most of the time though
He'd like to wear a helmet and run around yelling Kaiyo
I'd take him for walks in the park on the weekends
And if he saw other midgets he'd say Can we be friends
He'd only need a 3 foot coffin when he was dead
And he'd be in the guiness book for the world's biggest head
What a funny little fellow, but don't call him a shrimp
Or he'll attack your leg cause Gordos a tough gimp
He'd have a pogo ball that he'd bounce on for hours
And dirty little fathead Gordo would'nt take showers
When Halloween came, he wouldn't be a chump

Gettin all the candy goin round as a tree stump

(scratching/chorus)
Midget is a midget
Midget Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-Midget
Midget is a midget
Hey you guys- Word
Midget is a midget
Midget Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-Midget
Midget (wo-wo-wo-wo-word) is a midget
Like a midget in a urinal, I was gonna have to stay on my toes

(vers
Artist: Benefit
Title: If I Owned A Midget