If There's a Will

Helen, will you freshen up my drink?

Okay!

Take Shampagne to see his doggy shrink

Of course!

Lace my girdle, file down my skin tags

Sure!

And count all my shoes and my handbags

Helen, will you swallow all your rage?

For now

Keep it like a monkey in a cage

I love monkeys!

Just ignore Shampagne's much higher standing

I will

Adore me, endure me withstanding my demands

But I've got plans

So these demands are temporary

I grin and bear it knowing

Where my future life could lead

I grit my teeth and find relief repeating

If there's a will, there's a way, there's a way

If there's a will, there's a way, there's a way

If there's a will, there's a willy-nilly way

To be living like I'm top-notch

Filthy stinkin' rich, watch

Just gotta be smart like so

Keep playing my part like so

Don't step on my toes

Nobody knows what really goes on

In Bitsy's rich-and-famous

Lifestyle penthouse in the tower

Gonna have my hour with the willpower

Maybe I'll manipulate the lawyer

That's good

Show a little ankle in the foyer

Men love ankles

Make him give me power of attorney

Or else...

He'll leave Bitsy's house on a gurney

Her Shampagne taste is such a waste

It's time she tasted mine

Let's seal the deal up, club a seal up

Show me where to sign

Until that day, I lay awake recalling

If there's a will, there's a way, there's a way

If there's a will, there's a way, there's a way

If there's a will, there's a willy-nilly way

Willy-nilly way

Willy, willy, willy way

Oh, Helen, is it worth it?

Maybe you should give up this life

Of misdeeds and manipulation

Just kidding

Willy, willy-nilly, hey

Gonna shake that money in my monkey bank

Gonna shake it

Willy, willy-nilly, hey

Gonna shake that money in my monkey bank

Gonna shake it

Woah, woah

Shake it willy-nilly

Shake it willy-nilly

Woah, woah

Shake it willy-nilly

Shake it willy-nilly

If there's a will, there's a will

There's a way, way, way, way

Way, way, way, way, way, way

Way, way... okay, I'm done