I'm Retarded - Eminem

Ok, I'm going to attempt to drown myself.
You can try this at home,
You can be just like me.

Slim Shady, brain dead like Jan Brady
I'm a M80, you Lil' like that Kim lady
I'm buzzin, Dirty Dozen, naughty rotten rhymer
Cursin at you players worse than Marty Schottenheimer
You wacker than the motherfucker you bit your style from
You ain't gonna sell two copies if you press a double album
Admit it, fuck it, while we comin out in the open
I'm doin acid, crack, smack, coke and smokin dope then
My name is Marshall Mathers, I'm an alcoholic
I have a disease and they don't know what to call it
Better hide your wallet cause I'm comin up quick to strip your cash
Bought a ticket to your concert just to come and whip your ass
Bitch, I'm comin out swingin, so fast it'll make your eyes spin
You gettin knocked the fuck out like Mike Tyson
The +Proof+ is in the puddin, just ask the Deshaun Holton
I'll slit your motherfuckin throat worse than Ron Goldman

Something's not right
I'm sorry,
I'm mentally retarded
Slim Shady
I think thats my name

This place is my house, I might as well erase my face wit white-out
Cuz y'all can't see me like Mase's eyebrows (where you at?)
Climped out of a nice house,
through the front window and heard this guy shout
"Hey that's my couch, bitch!"
Pull a nine out during a rhyme bout
While I'm rippin this shit, put a clip in it spit five rounds
And murder you hoes worse than a convertible flippin vertical
Nose first wit the top off landin upside-down
You're tied down and duct-taped, fuck rape
I'd rather just hump a slut's leg wit my nuts shaved
And Sway & Tech, two disk jokeys
Breakin so many friggin needles I wonder if they inject

Something's not right
I'm sorry,
I'm mentally retarded
Slim Shady
I think thats my name

I'm ice grillin you, starin you down with a gremlin grin
I'm Eminem, you're a fag in a women's gym
I'm Slim, the Shady is really a fake alias
to save me with in case I get chased by space aliens
A brainiac, with a cranium packed, full of more uranium
than a maniac Saudi Arabian
A highly combustible head, spazmatic
strapped to a Kraftmatic adjustable bed
Laid up in the hospital in critical condition
I flatlined