Irish Builder - Ray Stevens

Dear Sir I write this note to you to tell you of me' plight
For at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight
Me body is all black and blue
Me face a deathly grey
And I write this note to tell you why I'm not at work today

While working on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clear
But to toss them down from such a height was not a good idea
The foreman wasn't very pleased, he is an awkward sod
He said I'd have to cart them down the ladders in me hod

Now shifting all those bricks by hand it was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below
But in me haste to do the job I was to blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks is heavier than me

And so when I untied the rope the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
I shot up like a rocket til' to my dismay I found
That half way up I met the bloody barrel comin' down

Now the barrel broke me shoulder, as to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with me head
I clung on tightly numb with shock from this almightly blow
And the barrel spilled out half the bricks fourteen floors below

Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more
Still clinging tightly to the rope my body racked with pain
Half way down I met the bloody barrel once again

Now the force of this collision halfway down the office block
Caused multiple contusions and nasty state of shock
Still clinging tightly to the rope I fell toward the ground
And landed on the broken bricks the barrel had scattered round

Well I lay there groaning on the ground I thought I'd past the worst
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst
A shower of bricks rained down on me I didn't have a hope
For as I lay there bleeding I let go of the bloody rope

The barrel being unsecured then started down once more
And it landed right across me as I lay there on the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say
That I hope you'll understand why Murphy's not at work today...