I've Told Myself A Thousand Times - Choke

another minute into this position 
not so strong spiral down 
doesn't seem to be a reason 
not to fold let go, 
release the hold on vanity 
you're not just killing time 
staring at the faces betraying your own basis 
can't sleep when discouragement's withdrawn 
from all conscious remedies 
stop pushing accept what you've been given 
seems like you're trying for nothing 
should know it won't work out always chasing 
a distraction all your efforts 
no reaction afraid to shed disguise 
to reveal your fragile lies 
you're caught in the promise that everything's alright 
but not convinced that standards will be recognized 
sifting through the doubting hoping 
to validate lost time