Laugh Man - Harry Chapin

Did you ever hear the one about...
Oh, God I love myself
When I've got it on
I know I'll live forever babe
All my fears are gone

Then suddenly I'm dying
They turned the laugh track off
I'm drowning in the silence
Crucified by coughs

Oh, I am the laugh man
Half clown and half man
Half out and half in, oh mister can't you see?
I'm s'posed to leave you laughing, so why don't you laugh at me?

I started out my starvin'
Desperate for money
My belly crackin' dirty jokes
That did not come out funny
My neck stuck out so far
Like a gawky giraffe
Screamin' on a guillotine
"Come on, sucker, laugh!"

I am the guy who always catches the pie
I specialize in pratfalls
I am the goon who flashes the moon
A mouse in a house of catcalls

I'm your jester your juggler
Your joker your friend
I'm nothing more or less
Than a horse's nether end!

My ego is a bubble
That I realize just broke
And alone without a microphone
My real life's a joke

Did you ever hear the one about...