I was on the way down holding onto nothin
Tell me what to say now
Tell me I've been buggin
Tell you that I get it conversations lead to what then
So what's the point of talking if we can't get past assumptions
Thought that we were better than this
Thought I was different
But fell into a groove that made it hard for me to listen
So every time you tried to reconnect it fell on deaf ears
It should have been our best instead there's nothing but regret here
And I stayed blind to it
Rationalized through it
Left you all alone just to bask in my ruins
It's funny how the brain plays tricks
Only saw it how I wanted
What you say makes sense
These silly little rhythms I get lost in
Closed you out gave you no options
Must've been exhaustin
Let my self perception hold you hostage
Didn't know, didn't know, didn't know
But it makes no difference now
I want to say I'm sorry
From the bottom of my heart
Had to say it in a song
Bell taught me men compartmentalize their lives to escape feelings
To escape facing the pain of healing
Integrity comes from wholeness
Until I can be who I am to everyone, I'll never know it
That's why I had to bring you into this song, Leah
You're the center of my world
But it was broken up in shards
Til I saw your open arms
Getting cut up by the weapons I had forged to disconnect me from the harm
My self harm turned to delusions of safety
I didn't need you to save me
I needed to figure out how to save myself to be with you
Had to get through these issues
Wrapped up in torrents of distracting chatter
Took pieces of myself, and with your help put them back together
I hope the wholeness I feel now can last forever
I hope it's enough
I promise to listen, hear you, connect feel you
See the person that you are, not just be the person that stands near you
Destroy the places I disappear to
Create a plane where 2 become one
Or at least it's a little closer than it was
So many love songs about lust
I just want this song to be about us
So it was