Mungojerrie And Rumpleteazer - CATS

Suddenly there is a thunderous crash, followed by the sound 
of police sirens and flashing red lights. The villainous cat 
Macavity is on the loose! The cats scatter, leaving an empty 
stage. 
Two off-stage giggles signal the entrance of Mungojerrie and 
Rumpleteazer, a fun-loving, frolicking team of pranksters, 
always getting in trouble with the family with whom they live. 

SOLO: 
The greatest magicians have something to learn 
From Mr. Mistoffolees conjuring turn 

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer were a notorious couple of cats 
As knockabout clowns, quick change comedians 
Tight-rope walkers and acrobats 

They had an extensive reputation 
Made their home in Victoria Grove 
That was merely their center of operation 
For they were incurable given to rove 

If the area window was found ajar 
And the basement looked like a field of war 
If a tile or two came loose on the roof 
Which presently ceased to be waterproof 

If the drawers were pulled out from bedroom chests 
And you couldn't find one of your winter vests 
Or after supper one of the girls 
Suddenly missed her Woolworth pearls 
Then the family would say, "It's that horrible cat! 

It was Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer!" 
And most of the time they left it at that 

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had an unusual gift of gab 
They were highly efficient cat burglars 
As well and remarkably smart at a smash and grab 

They made their home in Victoria Grove 
They had no regular occupation 
They were plausible fellows who liked to engage 
A friendly policeman in conversation 

When the family assembled for Sunday dinner 
Their minds made up that they wouldn't get thinner on 
Argentine joint, potatoes and greens 
Then the cook would appear from behind the scenes 

And say in a voice that was broken with sorrow 
"I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow 
The joint has gone from the oven like that!" 
Then the family would say, "It's that horrible cat! 

It was Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer!" 
And most of the time they left it at that 

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had a wonderful way 
Of working together 
And some of the time you would say it was luck 
And some of the time you would say it was weather 

They'd go through the house like a hurricane 
And no sober person could take his oath 
Was it Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer? 
Or could you have sworn that it mightn't be both? 

When you heard a dining room smash 
Or up from the pantry there came a loud crash 
Or down from the library came a loud ping 
From a vase which was commonly said to be Ming 
Then the family would say: "Now which was which cat? 

It was Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer 
And there's nothing at all to be done about that!" 

ALL: 
Macavity!