Here we go now...
Chorus 1:
My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her
Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom
Verse 1:
My mom, my mom,
I know you're probably tired of hearing 'bout my mom
Oho whoa-ho,
But this is just a story of when I was just a shorty
And how I became hooked on val-i-um.
Valium was in everything, food that I ate
The water that I drank
Fucking peas in my plate
She sprinkled just enough of it to season my steak
So everyday I have at least 3 stomach aches
Now tell me what kind of mother would want to see her
Son grow up to be an under-a-fucking-chiever
My teacher didn't think I was going to be nothing either
What the fuck you stickin' gum up under the fuckin' seat for?
Misses Mathers your son has been huffin' ether
Either that or the mother fucker's been puffin' reefer
But all this huffin' and puffin' wasn't what it was either
It was neither,
I was buzzin' but it wasn't what she thought
Pee in a tea-cup? Bitch you ain't my keeper
I'm sleepin'
What the fuck you keep on fuckin' with me for?
S*** you need to leave me the fuck alone
I ain't playin'go find you a white crayon
And color a fuckin' zebra
Chorus 2:
My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her
Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom
Verse 2:
Wait a minute, this ain't dinner, this is paint thinner
You ate it yesterday I ain't hear no complaints did I?
Now here's a plate full of painkillers
Now just wait til I crush the Valium and put it in your potatoes
Ya little mother fucker,
I'll make ya sit there and make that retarded fuckin' face without even tastin' it
You better lick the fuckin' plate, you ain't wastin' it
Put ya face in it before I throw you in the basement again
And I aint givin in you're gonna just sit there in one fuckin place spinnin in
Until next thanksgivin and if you still aint finished it I'll use the same shit again
Then when I make spinach dip it'll be placed in the shit
You little shit you want to sit there and play innocent
A rack fell and hit me at K-Mart and they witnessed it
Child support, your father he ain't sent the shit
And so what if he did? It's none of your dang business kid.
Chorus 3:
My mom, there's no one else quite like my mom
I know I should let bygones be bygones
But she's the reason why I am high on what I'm high on
My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her
Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom
Verse 3:
My mom loved valium now all I am is a poly-animal
I am what I am but I'm strong to be finished with me valium spinach
But my buzz only lasts about two minutes
But I don't want to swallow it without chewing it
I can't even write a rhyme without doin' it
My valium, my valium
Man I never thought that I could ever be a drug addict
Nah fuck that, I can't have it happen to me
But that's actually what has ended up happenin'
A tragedy from fucking passin it up got to me
And it's probably were I got acquainted with the taste aint it
Pharmaceuticals are the bomb mom beautiful
She killed the fucking dog with the medicine she done fed it
Feed it a fucking aspirin and say that it has a headache
Here, want a snack?
You hungry you fucking brat?
Look at that, it's a Xanax.
Take it and take a nap, eat it,
But I don't need it.
Then fuck it then break it up
Take a little piece and beat it before you wake Nathan up
Alright ma, you win I don't feel like arguin'
I'll do it, pop it gobble it and start wobblin'
Stumble hobble tumble slip drip
Then I fall in bed with a bottle of meds
And a Heath Ledger bobblehead
Chorus 4:
My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her
Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom