I pull the blinds then I take my clothes off
Dance around the house like nature boy
My genitalia and pectoral muscles
Aren't quite what I would like them to be
But you don't see me
No one can see me
I pull my blinds
Fill out my income tax form
Pen in hand I write so legibly
I have my kitty
His name is Allowishus
I stroke him, stroke him, stroke him, stroke him, stroke him, stroke him, stroke him, stroke him
But you don't see me
No one should see me
I pull the blinds
For the sun glares off my tele
And I find it quite so irritating
I have my videos
Loads of Ren & Stimpy
Bottom, a bit of pornography
But you don't see me
No one should see me
Well, I've been known to tell a tale in two and three and four
And I've been persecuted since I sailed in through the door
And I've been known to sing a song in three and four and five
And I've been getting my ass chewed since the day I arrived here
No one can see me
No one can see me