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[00:00.97]I wish I had some superpowers. I was thinking about that the other day.
[00:03.65]Maybe quit comedy, fight some crime. Everybody wants to fly. That's the
[00:08.20]number one power. If I could grant you a power, "Dane, I'd love to fly."
[00:10.83]Yeah? Who the fuck doesn't. Who doesn't want to leave the show tonight
[00:15.37]and be like, "Alright I'll catch you guys later." *Shwwooosh* and zip up into
[00:18.96]the skies. "I can show you the world. Shining, shimmering splendor."
[00:34.25]I'd love to shoot a laser out of my cock. And when I'm empty my balls glow.
[00:42.43]Low fuel. Balls are empty.
[00:50.55]You know what I'd like to be able to do more than anything else? I'd love to
[00:54.14]be able to shoot spaghetti out of my fingertips. *Pppthhh.* 'Cause no one
[01:00.40]wants to be covered in spaghetti. No. If I'm on a date with a girl and she's
[01:04.06]very rude I'll be like, you know what? *PPpptthhh* Enjoy your spaghetti
[01:07.67]you're very rude. Enjoy your spaghetti, 'cause you're rude. *Pppttthh*
[01:17.51]These are all dreams. These are all things we want to have.
[01:22.98](To man in audience) If I could grant you a power, any power, what would
[01:24.75]you want? Anything right now? "Dah, Jesus." You want to be Jesus? God
[01:30.21]you're such an egotistical prick. He thinks he's Jesus. Ah, Jesus. I'd love to
[01:39.83]cover him with spaghetti right now. *Ppppttthh* Enjoy your spaghetti,
[01:43.41]you're very egotistical.
[01:45.27]Ahhh, Christ. *pause* (to man in audience) Not you.
[01:54.29]🎵