That's Just My Luck - Rodney Carrington

I woke up this morning and i sliped down in the shower
Bumped my head on the faucit and it bled for a whole damn hour
I didn't have time for breakfast so i walked right to the door
I walked outside and realized that my ride wasn't there no more

That's just my luck
Somebody stole my truck
Just leaving me stuck
What an insensitive shmuck
My stomach is rumblin' and my head's in pain
I'm standin outside in the pourin rain
I can't get to work, that's just my luck

Well I walked in to the telephone to give my boss a call
I told him I'd be late for work, he said "don't bother comin' at all!"
I tried to tell him that my truck was gone but he said that he didn't care
Then he slammed down the telephone, now I'm deaf in my right ear

That just my luck
Now my ear don't work
It realy hurts
My ex boss is a jerk
I ain't got much cash, the rent is due
Somethin's stickin to my left shoe
I just stepped in WHAT?!?!, that's just my luck

Well I walked down to the local bar with the few dollars that I had
I asked a pretty lady if she would dance and her boyfriend, he got mad
I pulled out an old hickory stick, he pulled out a gun
I looked around the four corners of the bar but there wasn't any place to run

That's just my luck
Cause I got wood and he's got lead
And he's really red
I think I'm dead
Tomorrow on my tombstone they will write
"He took a baseball bat to a shotgun fight.
There ain't nuthin wrong with that, it was just his luck."

Naw there ain't nuthin wrong with that, it was just his luck.