The Aerie (the Cheap Coney Fuckheap Slimey) - Andrew Lloyd Webber

PHANTOM: I am sitting on the aerie (aerie)
I like it on the aerie where I can sit in the feathery waste
I have no taste (no taste)

I AM A DISGRACE
I AM ASHAMED
I AM THIS PLACE
I HAVE NO FACE

CONEY ISLAND HO 1: You are the lord of the steaming shit pile!
CONEY ISLAND HO 2: You are the emperor of the writhing mass of
the plastic slum!

PHANTOM: Yes that is correct
I am the very piss staining the rancid walls
I am the wandering hair on the floor
I am HE
THE ONE
LORD OF ALL
KING OF GLORY
ALMIGHTY WALTZ-MAKING SHIT

(ALMIGHTY WALTZ-MAKING SHIT! SHIT!)

CONEY ISLAND HO 1: Though you are a screaming, drug addicted, shrieking, wailing, writhing pimped mentalist-
CONEY ISLAND HO 2: The drifting, gliding, superior bitch-woman RAN back to you!! YOU!

(HIM! HIM!)

PHANTOM: YES INDEEDY, PHANTOM-TUM-TUM-TIME
TIME FOR FUN
PHANTUMTUMTUMTUM-TUMMY-TIME

[STARTS SCRAPING AT THE AERIE LIKE A DEMENTED OVERSIZED HAIRY CHICKEN THAT CAN'T EVEN SEE BEYOND ITS FRINGE]

OH YEAH
WE GONNA FUNKY SOUL FREAK OUT
WHO'S BAD?
[VERY STRAIGHT ENGLISH ACCENT] WHO IS BAD? WHO IS HE? WHO IS BAD? THE PHANTUM.

THE PHANTUM.

THE PHANTUM.

PHANTOM: I AM THE ALMIGHTY KEEPER OF THE MUSIC
MUSIC GROVELS LIKE A DISEASE-RIDDEN HALF-NAKED RODENT
BEFORE MY GLORIOUS ALMIGHTY DECREPIT FACE THAT FALLS OFF WHENEVER I SEE CHRISTINE

I WILL NEVER SAY NEVER
I WILL NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER DIE
LOVE NEVER DIES
LOVE FOREVER
ALL FOR ME
MINE
ME
ALL FOR ME
ITS ALL MINE
PHANFUN

[THE PHANTUM COLLAPSES, COMPLETELY AND ABSOLUTELY SEIZED BY A FIT]

[THE CORNEY ISLAND HOS CIRCLE HIM, WALKING IN A VERY SLOW CIRCLE]

[DEATHLY ORGAN MUSIC]