The Bob Song - Big & Rich

(Spoken) 
So I was hanging out in a very deserted place where there's white, white, white sand, and blue, blue, blue, aqua blue waters, that meets the horizon in a fine line of the most shiny purple you ever seen in your life, and then right there across that great horizon, saw sails, sails from a ship, from a ship that stood a man that had sailed around the world a time or two. I guess you could say, he was a pirate. 

(Sung) 
Well I once knew a pirate named Bob. 
B-O-B Bob was a drunken old slob. 
B-O-B Bob, 'bout as dumb as a rock 
But Bob, he made it to the top. 

He said "You swing from your tree 
And I'll swing from mine. 
You have your lemons and 
I'll have my lime 
Funny, we all act like monkeys sometimes 
So you swing from your tree 
And I'll swing from mine." 

And he said "I'd rather make love 
Than war. 
And I'd rather have millions 
Than to ever be poor 
But I'd rather be happy 
Than to have anymore 
Guess I'm 
A little tangled in a vine. 

Oh, you swing from your tree 
And I'll swing from mine. 
You have your lemons and 
I'll have my lime. 
Funny, we all act like monkeys sometimes. 
So you swing from your tree 
And I'll swing from mine." 

(Spoken: Big Kenny) 
Man, let me tell ya about one of the crazy things that just happened here in the past week. We got to go and do this photo shoot for a magazine, I think they were called Blender, and they gave us $900 and they said "Well, y'all go do anything you want to with it," so let me tell you what a couple of pirates would do if they had $900. Well, they'd go into a costume shop, and they'd find themselves a couple of costumes, maybe animals, maybe something that looked like a chicken. 

(John Rich) 
A chicken? 

(Big Kenny) 
A chicken, John. 

(Rich) 
I like chicken. 

(Big) 
John, you were a chicken, I think. 

(Rich) 
I love cats. 

(Big) 
And then one of them would put some fruit on his head, look a little bit like Carmen Miranda. 

(Rich) 
Is that like the girl in the Chiquita Banana thing? 

(Big) 
And then what they would do--- 

(Rich) 
Dude, the Chiquita Banana girl is stacked. I always thought she was hot. Anytime I was like, in elementary school and they gave us the bananas, I would always pick the one that had the sticker still on it. 

(Big) 
But then again you liked to look at the panty section of the Sears and Roebuck magazine. 

(Rich) 
Who didn't? 

(Big) 
'Cause you're a freak. 

(Rich) 
Who didn't? 

(Big) 
Bonafide, bonafide freak. You know what my grandmother used to tell me she would do that involved the Sears and Roebuck magazine and freaks? Well, chickens that is. When she was grew up, she was born in 1905, her name was Cathleen, we called her Gaggy, more affectionately she was known to her grandchildren, and she told us that when she was a kid, they used the Sears and Roebuck magazine for toilet paper-- 

(Rich) 
Oh my-- 

(Big) 
in the outhouse, and they had a stick in the outhouse to beat the chickens--- 

(Rich) 
Aw, sheesh. 

(Big) 
But anyway, I guess that's the way things used to be and things ain't quite like the way they used to be anymore. And anyway, we're standin' there dressed like a chicken and Carmen Miranda, and we're holding the horn of a white rhinosarus-- 

(Sung) 
A white rhinosarus 
White rhinosarus 

(Spoken: Big) 
at the San Antonio Zoo, which we must tell you is a very, very nice zoo. And now that you know a little bit about what we've done in the past week, we can tell you-- 

(Rich) 
Let's rock it baby, come on. 

(Big) 
We can tell you, we can say 

(Sung) 
You swing from your tree 

(Spoken) 
We can say 

(Sung) 
I'll swing from my tree 
Aw, you swing from your tree 
We'll all be happy sometimes 
And I'll swing from my tree 
You swing from your tree 
And I'll swing from my tree 
And we'll all be happy sometimes 
Come on 
You swing from your tree 
And I'll swing from my tree 
And we'll all be happy sometimes. 

Oh, you swing from your tree 
And I'll swing from mine 
You have your lemons and 
I'll have my lime 
It's funny, we all act like monkeys sometimes. 
So you swing from your tree 
And I'll swing from mine. 
I'll swing from mine. 
I'll swing from mine. 

(Spoken: Big) 
I was just trying to think of the sound that a monkey would make.