THE DAY I JUMPED FROM UNCLE HARVEY'S PLANE - Roger Miller

Me 'n' Oliver 'n' Virgil was in the drugstore killing time
When my eyes fell upon this magazine
And I got to reading this article on sky-diving and parachuting
And it said jumping out of air-planes was the thing

Now being raised down on a farm and always ready for adventure
I knew that I could figure out a way
I said "Well Delmer Gill's got a parachute and Uncle Harvey's got an air-plane"
So I said "Call the boys together, today's the day"

Well I found out too late what Uncle Harvey called an air-plane
Was nothing but an engine and a wing
And I could feel my fear a-rising as Delmer packed the parachute
'Cos he kept telling me I was doing the right thing

Ron McLoughlin shook my hand as JD strapped me in the harness
And Tildon brought a jug and passed it around
I took one look at that parachute and that whisky and that air-plane
And I turned that bottle up and drank it down

Well I was drunker'n Cooter Jones when they poured me in the plane
The engine coughed and headed for the clouds
But I was sober as a judge by the time they opened up the door
And I've never known my heart to beat so loud

I said, "Harvey, I can't do it" as he kicked me out the door
And I wrapped my hands around the landing gear
And I was holding on real good 'til Harvey stepped down on my fingers
And Virgil said he heard me scream from way down there

Well I thanked God and Delmer Gill when my parachute finally opened
I said "Well, hell there ain't no use in being afraid"
And I went crashing through the hen house, scattering chickens and breaking eggs
And I kissed the ground and fainted dead away

Now friends I've done some fighting, and I've been shot at once or twice
And I've durn near been run over by a train
But I don't think I remember being any more afraid
Than the day I jumped from Uncle Harvey's plane