Well, I killed my dad in a con gone bad
Nearly drank myself to death
Oh, but when he died, he said Lou had the cake
So I caught a bus headin' west
I saw the numbers runnin' through a small café
And I knew I'd find my Uncle Lou
That's when Eddie stepped up, he said, "Pick a card"
Said "Shape the con before it shapes you"
Who sent ya?
Sam fuckin' Peckinpah
Yeah, who sent ya?
Who sent ya? Who sent ya?
Sam fuckin' Peckinpah
Yeah, who sent ya?
Now I met my uncle for the very first time
And he sent me on a con with Ed
And now we came callin' on his girl Diane
A blonde grifter dressed in red
I guess pigeon droppin' was the name of the game
And I had to pay my dues
Well fun time family fun was the plan
Said "Shape the con before it shapes you"
Who sent ya?
Sam fuckin' Peckinpah
Yeah, who sent ya?
Who sent ya, baby girl?
Sam fuckin' Peckinpah
Yeah, who sent ya?
Sam Peckinpah tried to choke Eddie out
But he cut him from ear to ear
Then he grabbed old Lou and said, "We fuck now!"
On his face, a twisted jeer
Well, he took old Lou to that same café
And Eddie couldn't have been much higher
When he tied him up, it was his intent
To put his head in that deep fryer
Diane told me and I tackled Ed
As we did a little wiggle and dance
Oh, when we were done, Ed got a hot head, said
"Well, vive la fuckin' France, man!"
Someone tried to kill me, man
(Who'd try to kill you, Eddie?)
The fuckin' hangers!
Go, go!
Someone tried to kill me, man
(Who'd try to kill you, Eddie?)
The fuckin' hangers!
Time to kiss the baby, friend
(All fuckin' summer long, sugar)
Who sent ya?
Sam fuckin' Peckinpah
Yeah, who sent ya?
Who sent ya, baby girl?
Sam fuckin' Peckinpah
Yeah, who sent ya?
You shape the con, or it'll shape you
You shape the con
You shape the con, or it'll shape you
You shape the con
Hi-fuckin'-ya!