I am wide awake
Staring at your face and
I'm wondering if you're safe
I'm wondering if it's fake
And my heart is racing
Afraid of what you hide (what you hide, what you hide)
Afraid of ways you lie and
Afraid of what I'll find
Afraid I'll spend my life
Crying when I'm smiling
Can't tell if I love you
Or I'm sleeping with the enemy
Some days I can't tell my intuition from anxiety
I'm too scared to tell you
'Cause what if you get fed up and leave?
Some days I can't tell my paranoia from PTSD
PTSD, PTSD
Some days I can't tell my paranoia from PTSD
PTSD, PTSD
Some days I can't tell my paranoia from PTSD
I'm good, I'm good, okay?
My armor's suffocating
I guess it comes in waves
I get used to the ache
But it's asphyxiating
Can't tell if I love you
Or I'm sleeping with the enemy
Some days I can't tell my intuition from anxiety
I'm too scared to tell you
'Cause what if you get fed up and leave?
Some days I can't tell my paranoia from PTSD
PTSD, PTSD
Some days I can't tell my paranoia from PTSD
PTSD, PTSD
Some days I can't tell my paranoia from PTSD
I'm just a sad girl stacking up my money
I'm doing big things 'cause my mama didn't want me
I try to be a saint, so I'm worthy of affection
But I'm still afraid, 'cause love is a murder weapon
Some days I get so damn lonely
'Cause everybody's fake (everybody's fake)
I trust the only one who knows me
'Cause no one else feels safe
PTSD, PTSD
Some days I can't tell my paranoia from PTSD
PTSD, PTSD
Some days I can't tell my paranoia from PTSD
I'm just a sad girl stacking up my money
I'm doing big things 'cause my mama didn't want me
I try to be a saint, so I'm worthy of affection
But I'm still afraid 'cause love is a murder weapon